Online Dating Tips

Online dating opens you to potentially thousands of individuals, and often the problem is not finding, its choosing.  Here are a few tips to help others choose you, and help you choose others.

Your Picture

Pictures tell a thousand words, and a good picture will be a great attractor.  Similarly a bad picture will put people off.  Profiles with pictures are looked at and messaged 6 times more than those without, so to increase you chances of finding the perfect mate upload a picture.

Don't skimp.  If you are serious about finding a lifetime partner consider using a professional photographer.  Alternatively ask a friend to help you choose a photograph from your collection.  It is surprising how many terrible photographs there are on dating sites acting as an instant turn off.  Here's a few dos and donts:

• Make sure you are the only person in the picture.
• A party picture is fine, but you don't want to look like a drunk.
• Smile and look at the camera.
• Try and use a photo taken in natural light - flash photography can make you look wiped out, picks up any skin blemish, and produces a "flat" image.
• An head and torso shot is best.
• Never post pictures of someone else, as you will be caught out eventually.
• Post a recent picture.  You want people to like you for who you are now, not who you were 10 years ago.

Your "About Me" Text

A person searching the website will use the "About Me" text to get an idea of who you are as a person.  Be honest, and be clear about what you are like and what you want in a partner.  A little effort now will filter out unwanted attention, and save effort later filtering out unsuitable matches.  Start by making a bullet point list of the things you want to say under the headings; my vision for my life, my interests and passions, my values, the qualities I would look for in others.

Be "Active"

Choose active words to describe yourself and talk about your feelings. Don't say "I like to walk...", say "I love the feeling of freedom when out walking and exploring new areas..."

Be Positive and look forwards

Although you may have had a difficult end to a relationship, or may be feeling lonely, don't rub this in a potential partners face. Don't say "After the mess and anguish of the break up of my long term relationship I need someone to rescue me from my pit of loneliness and despair...", rather say, "I am looking to a long term future with the person with whom I can share my passion for life, the countryside, and the mountains..."

Be Specific

Don't be afraid to state what you want.  Remember, you both want to attract and filter out potential contacts at the same time.  Don't be afraid to say, "I cannot abide the breath of smokers so please don't contact me if you do...", or "I am very involved in animal welfare charities locally, and would love to meet an animal loving vegetarian like myself."  If these things are important to you then you want them to be important to your new  partner.

Avoid the Cliché

"I've never done this before,  oh well here goes ..."
"My friends tell me I'm..."

Always Respect Others

Respect the fact that the people contacting you have as much emotion and self belief wrapped up in this process as you have.  Always reply to e-mails, even if you only want to say "I've looked at your profile and your not quite the person I'm looking for...".  There is nothing worse than sending emails off only to get no response.

Make an Effort

Posting up a profile is just a small part of the task ahead.  Don't just sit and wait for a response, be pro-active.  Set yourself a target of contacting two potential partners a day for a week.  Expect some no-replies, and dead ends and work through them.  Check the site for new members that may be of interest regularly so you can be the first to express some interest.

Use the picture gallery to upload photos of you in "action" that a casual browser may see and be attracted to.  Contribute to the forum discussions.  Be "around" and get noticed.